Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Two Thumbs Down

Wellllll.....long time, no blog here.  Many stories, little time!!

So, last night while bathing (in part because they had both peed in the back 40 - girls just don't have the right anatomy for that!) the two little ones together (which is usually a love/hate experience between the two - and they dumped two huge containers of water all over the floor-but, I was noticing my feet stunk after wearing the same old flip-flips from last year, so they did get a nice rinse), I notice the 2 yr old's thumb has gotten worse around her nail.  But, water tends to make the skin wrinkly, right?  So, no big deal.  Bedtime, however, was.  My husband decided to "step outside" (what was it you said you were doing again?) after I laid the 5 yr old down then proceeded to the routine w/little Bea.  She's being a total monkey & keeps sitting up in bed, then stuffy allergy head sister gets up & barges in, requesting a Kleenex, while doing the farmer snot blow.  Uh, right next to the bed, where they've always been, dear.  I finally get them to sleep & take a shower myself.  Hair washin' day snuck up on me again.  On the eves before work, I find it much easier to shower before bed.  Plus, after going into some of the homes I encounter, I'm finding it best to shower post-visit.  I peruse the fridge for a bev and, darnit, the only chilled item in a container is a Rolling Rock.  I grab that while the hubs examines my Aldi finds & makes me a little mama snack (apology for watering the flowers at bedtime?)  as he slices up some mozz cheese, drizzles it w/olive oil & a spinach leaf & tomato.  I douse it w/ a "healthy" portion of sea salt and have a nice little 9:30 p.m. snack.  The plate rests nicely on my leftover baby ponch.  Maybe a slight clue to eliminate the after 7pm snacks...
It's just our post-child way of winding down for the night - I like the word decompress - I can have my snacks and eat them, too (without kids crawling on me, asking for bites).

Where was I?  Rolling Rock, then...
Oh yea!  The kids.

Last night I totally jinxed myself by telling the hubs "wow, Bea has been sleeping so well lately - she has been staying in her bed until 6am (before crying & I go get her & we crash for a few more, together) and not running into our room and SLAMMING the door.  6am - SLAM!!!!

So, as I'm sipping (ok, guzzling) my morning brew (java, not Rolling Rock), I look at her little thumb.  The skin is literally peeling right off!  Yukkers!  I decide I better see if I can get in to the ped.  I about passed out when they said the REAL ped could see her in 45 min!  Never happens.  Especially when you really need it, which I didn't think we qualified as an emergency.  So I cancel my client and throw on some clothes & deodorant- and mascara - duh.  As we are waiting, I distract the jumping toddler by telling her about the zoo and that we will go sometime.  The doctor arrives shortly, and, as it turns out, the red, peeling thumb was an indication of an infection AND strep!!  What?  Weird, huh?  She saw the thumb then felt her throat - sure enough, there was a swollen lymph node.  After a quick (thank goodness - not fun!) swab, she's positive for strep.  Now I'm replaying my teen's comment yesterday "my throat has been hurting."  Me: "yea, don't these allergies stink?"  Great, we've probably all got it.  Our insurance's flexible spending account is going to be eaten up before we know it.

"I not happy"
So, after having the doctor examine "Head Not Proportionate To Body Barbie" after Bea's request to "look at huh (her) eyes (insert frontal lisp on the /s/)," we stopped at the bathroom.  After she goes, I go - while she "checks the lock" by turning the handle & opening the door slightly - while I'm yelling "no - shut the door!" while hovering.  Then we head to WalGreen's for the script.  Of course it wasn't ready (but I remembered to ask for grape flavoring this time - always forget that - but so worth the $2.56), so I HAD to look around.  Three nail polish's later (and some Wal-Zyr), we leave.
"She say I get a pupa sucka!" (purple sucker)


We decide it would be nice to take daddy some lunch.  McDonald's, of course.  (ok, so late night snacks AND McD's - yea yea)  As we are dining around the cheap Big Lot's "table," Macy leans on it and flips the top, sending a FULL Coke toppling over - onto two expensive books the hubs was ready to send off to Amazon, a $300 company phone, a ream of copy paper, and was within inches of dripping all over the cord-laden power strip!!  I vaguely hear my phone ringing during the mayhem.  I get my message and it's the neighboring jewelry store informing me that the ring I got for my teen's bday is ready.  So, we toss the sopped paper towels, grab the sippy cup from last week with rotten milk, & head out, Bea with her huge Coke triangle stain & ketchup smears on her little kimono dress & little Coke trickle stains on her legs, I with my Dora sticker (thank you Macy for sharing at the doc ofc). 

I pay for the ring as Bea pipes up "I gotta go bathwoom!"  I ask if they have a public restroom.  "Well, no, but...I would hate for her to have an accident."  Me:  "Thank you!  She pee-pee'd in the van yesterday & we have a ways to go home."  Why do I have to add details to strangers?  She already said yes, unlike KEY"S SPORT SHOP yesterday.  Well, this time it ain't just pee.  "Look mommy, look like a snake!  I show her?"  Lovely.

As she is falling asleep in the back (and as I notice I have dried up ketchup on my cheek-man the jewelry chic must've thought we were bums!) & I'm trying to keep her awake so I can get her out of that dress & into a Pull-Up for nap, she says "we go to zoo now?"  And cries and cries b/c we aren't going RIGHT NOW.  Guess I should've made it clearer in the ped's ofc. that we would go SOMETIME.  We finally get home and, as I open the front door, the dog runs out!  Crap.  I forgot to put her in her crate!  If she peed on that Pottery Barn rug again, she's outta here!

Well, Bea is awake enough now (since I yanked her clothes off) to want a book.  She chooses (from her 586 book collection) the counting book that takes place IN A ZOO...








Monday, January 23, 2012

RBall Tourny & Much Ado About Monday

Ugh.  And ugh.

Monday came too quickly after a full weekend of participating in a racquetball tourney (with a miserable cold and little sleep - whine, whine), in which a large group of high schoolers who are ON A TEAM (didn't realize they even had r-ball teams in school!) took the prizes (ok, it was just sweats, so I wasn't too disappointed) in my division.  The real prize was the all you can eat (or did I just call it that?) food from Arby's.  There was a sign, which I felt was targeted at me, that read "no hoarding of food."  Well, maybe I should've paid attention to that - I'm thinking the mozz sticks did nothing for my game.  And, thank god, I had the sense to wait on the chili and pepper poppers until AFTER my games.  (Shall I hold the comments such as "or maybe then I really could have blown my competition away?")

Now let me "backup" (pun intended-read on my friends) a bit.  I had been discussing the tourney with my rball buddy on the phone and had lots of things going on in my head for strategizin & stuff.  I get in the car, open the garage door, and press on the gas pedal - WHACK!!!  Wow.  I am totally awake now!  Uh, yea, I backed right into the van...Crap.  I quickly assessed the damage - I put a few marks & a HOLE in the hubs bumper and nearly nothing on my big bad mama van.  Do I run back in & tell on myself, or shall I phone my man on the way?  OR...better yet...neither!!  I let it hang until I got home.

Two yr old Bea kept me up the night before by coughing then running down the hallway, bursting open the door and saying "I want mommy!"  WHY oh WHY did we take the containment bed, I mean crib, down???

I awoke with sore muscles, a sore throat, & a sore brain.  I look in the mirror - holy heck and other assorted words!  Please let the swelling go down on those eyes and - oh yuk - the dry, cracked, open crevice on the side of my mouth that was created by saliva leaking out my gaping mouth at night b/c I couldn't breathe out of my nose and my hair that looked like The Bride of Frankenstein - whites included.

As I am getting ready for work, the "raaaaaaaahhhhhh" took my attention off the mirror.  My middle "slash - first born" (as there are seven yrs between my eldest and she) child screamed bloody murder about the butterfly shirt that "didn't feel right" and whose "pants are too tight" and on and on about the clothes - for the love of god - the clothes!!  Let's not even mention the hair brushing.  That kid can reach decibels I couldn't fathom a child producing unless they were getting an appendage cut off.  Well, I finally got her out the door for school w/dad with all of 25 minutes to get myself and the 2 yr old ready.  I tossed a waffle to B & turned on the TV while I had just enough time for a "whore bath" then threw on some clothes & did a pony - after the dollop of vaseline on my nasal area & desert lips.  The usual Mon morning routine.

As I was taking Bea to the sitter's for the morn, I packed her a banana & drink.  I brought a waffle & a to-go coffee for my "commute" to work.  I attempt to get her out of the car (ouch on the tired r-ball muscles!), she throws a "do it myself" fit - so I grabbed her bag and notice she has taken her banana out & mushed the heck out of it trying to peel & eat it in the car.  Only a small amount of mush was in her fuzzy coat.

So, off for my 20 some mile drive to my first appt.  Oh crud - I gotta go pee already!  Damn coffee and nowhere to pee.  I distract myself by croaking along with Adele with my sore throat voice that doesn't sound so much sexy/raspy as it does near-death.

As I near the exit off the hwy, I put my turn signal on.  CLICK CLICK CLICK in rapid succession.  The display reads "Check right turn lamp."  Hmmmm...funny that's the same side that whacked the hardest when I backed into the van.  Guess I better fess up again tonight.  I approach the purple cow skull marker hanging on the fence, alerting me I'm near.  Somehow I manage to pull in for my 9:00 appt. at 9:02 - how DO I do it?