"48 Hours"

 The first 24:  Sundays are supposed to be relaxing, right?  A day of rest.  Not at this house.  I had a coughing babe next to me most of the night and was finally snoozing at 7:30 am when my eldest is about 1/2" from my face in the loudest "whisper" I have ever heard "Mom...mom...the dog is in the woods and is yipping like she's hurt."  I slowly & cautiously sneak out of bed so as not to wake baby and put my new $3 sunglasses on and go outside w/her to find the blankity blank dog.  Yes, she is yelping - as she has treed the neighbor's cat.  Great.  I'm sure she not only woken that neighbor, but also the working couple who have no kids and it was one of two days out of the week they can sleep in.  After 15 minutes of yelling at the dog, starting the four wheeler (which she loves to chase), and finally "do you want a treat?"  (Yea, your treat is gonna be a doggy-arse whoopin') - she finally emerges.  Sweating & heart pounding already at 8am - no coffee involved.  No doggy treat involved.

It's usually "Syrup Sunday" - daddy making pancakes.  I decide to chill on the couch (w/coughing children) and enjoy the one day I don't do bfast.  "Where's the pancake mix?"  Crap.  I manage to get my pooped (not poopy - that's Macy) butt off the couch to find a muffin mix.  Hubs says he'll make them.  Great idea, in theory.  He decides to dump in some real blueberries (in their natural juices).  They came out mushy and very, very, very blue. In the meantime, Macy gets tired of waiting & grabs some crackers, which she ends up spitting and dropping/mashing all over the floor - and the all of a sudden picky dog doesn't vacuum them up.  Kameron gave up and brought her milk into the living room.  Macy dunked Kleenex in it.  Kam screams, then we all sit down to eat daddy's creation.

I decide it's a good day to open up the sandbox on the deck & get the kids outside.  It's covered w/a tarp, which I remove, only to find the sand swimming in lots of rain water and mossy looking junk.  Em comes out & announces there is a lizard - "oh, where?" I ask (I am super squeemish about cold-blooded, slimy, creepy, crawlies and I'm barefoot).  "Right there, by your foot."  NASTY 1/2 tail cut off, pale looking thing right THERE - yuk!  I did the jump & scream while Em cracked up and ran to the computer to post to her friends on Facebook.

The day goes on.  I do chores w/the kids underfoot while the hubs mows.  I see Macy gnawing on some cashews and spitting them on floor- after I had mopped for the first time in weeks.  As I am getting my pj's on later that night, a single little cashew falls out of my bra onto the floor.

Hub ends up sleeping w/coughing Kameron (who talked in her sleep the whole night "Macy, Macy, the bees are coming!") and Macy had me up all night coughing & crying.  I woke up looking like the gorgeous actress Charlize Theron - in her role as "The Monster."

The Second 24:  Monday.  As if that doesn't say enough.  My hubs usually takes the tween to school in the morns, but this week it's my duty.  Which means getting all three kids and myself into the van very, very, very EARLY.  I stupidly promised the kids donuts on the way to school - leaving even earlier.  A toddler-type fight broke out when we got home b/c Macy had picked the sprinkles off Kam's donut when she was wandering about the house when she was supposed to be eating (do your kids do this - I am constantly "Kameron, sit down and eat"-repeat 20 times per meal).

Next for quality time w/the girls.  Super idea of planting together.  Well, Macy gets her clothes totally covered in dark, dark, dark soil-mostly from sitting in the flower beds after she has dipped her hands in the dirty rain water bucket and gotten her clothes nice & wet so the soil sticks nicely-then walks on the plants (while Kam yells at her) while I am attempting to let Kameron dig a hole.  Move to the swingset where they both start whining (Kami-"I can't do the monkey bars-screaaammmm" - Macy - "swing slower"-which means faster).  Back to the house for a nice round of time out.  Outside plan aborted.

I am longing for the kids to take a nap.  However, at this point it is thundering and both kids have this "kennel cough" they can't seem to kick.   Sooooo, Kameron begs for all of us to sleep in the "big bed."  I give in - knowing Macy won't sleep through the thunder unless she's w/me anyway.  Disaster strikes-Kameron is  coughing and kicking, Macy is practically lying on top of me, I'm inhaling her blonde fluff - except for the back tendrils which are slightly damp w/sweat due to our close proximity, AND she is breathing like a Sleestack b/c of her congestion.  Somehow, I still manage to just about nod off (which is a rarity for me - but a woman can only take so much exhaustion) when kami pops up, "I need a Kleenex" loudly which also made Macy jump.  Kam ends up not taking a nap.  I get super uber duper cranky w/her and she loses her most beloved pastime - TV.

Since the nap has failed me, I decide to do one productive thing - call NY&Co credit card to beg them to take off the $25 late fee - as I have forgotten current payment.  Success (hey - there's one thing in 48 hrs).  Then I head to Macy's room to do something (I probably forgot what it was when I walked in, too) and see another freakin frackin wet yellow circle of DOG PEE on the white spot (yet again) of the Pottery Barn rug (I only mention the brand name - which I got off of a local Craig's List - b/c you know how ticked I was that it wasn't just a KMart 3X5)!!!  

Cursing ensues plus a mild dog lashing and a toss outdoors - in the rain - for a long while.  I pass the sliding glass door - laughing at her and saying NO (ok - I put that on a little thick-don't call ASPCA - but consider DFS - JK!!).  Kameron thinks out loud "maybe she saw the flowers & butterflies on the rug and thought she was outside mommy."  That ain't saving that dog's butt.  Then Macy cries (from tall bed all alone) & Kami rescues her.  Only to have her come back & scream & cry as I am attempting to remove the stain (to no real avail) with the 500 lb. steam vac.  I should know by now that when it thunders & rains (it pours - haha) this scaredy cat dog won't pee outside - must remember to toss her ever so gently into the grass next time to make sure she pees. 

Haul the kids into town after "nap" as we shall call it so I can play a crappy game of racquetball (I'll blame it on being so pooped).  After one particularly bad, missed shot, I told my opponent, "I am going to cry now - been wanting to all day!"

Back to pottying stories:  Macy decides to completely fill her diaper as I am preparing a gourmet dinner of leftovers (on my own since hubs is working).  During the process, she sticks her finger in "the area", attempting to help me wipe her.  Great.  Now I'm wrestling w/the poop mess and get a nice brown smear on my forearm.  I plop Macy in her highchair.  Just today I have decided I'm sick of her tray that she constantly throws off onto the floor, 1/2 full plate & all, so I take it off and push the chair up to the table. You know, where her full plate is sitting.  She kicks the plate - onto the floor - of course.  Yet another plan failed.  She was very proud of herself, as well - wondering if any lesson was learned as I told her NO.

A friend once called me Superwoman and I laughed - but after having a sick kid on my leg while cooking & cleaning and listening to the 4 year old talk about toots & poop and fighting w/her sister(s), and while administering time-outs, well, I think I own that title.

Needless to say, an early bedtime was had by all.  I dispense the dark, dark, dark purple nighttime coughing med to Kami in bed.  She spills the entire dose on her new comforter.  Mommy has wine and chocolate while watching mindless junk on the (cashew) boob tube and hits the hay.

BTW, these posts are becoming few & far between - I have been interrupted numerous times by all three kids - who are either supposed to be napping or at bedtime - and as I'm editing, it's thundering at one of the two times it always thunders - naptime - but I ain't givin' up - thanks for "following" me - hope you are enjoying  :-)