Friday, October 14, 2011

PEEved

Soooo...hoping all 33 (wait 32 - I'm my own follower) haven't yet given up my near non-existent blogging of late.  LIFE IS NUTS WITH THREE KIDS!!!!!   
And becoming 40 something has apparently not been to my advantage.

Take, for example, a recent blood draw and 24 hour urine test.  I asked my husband, "who has 24 hours where they can commit to collecting their pee EVERY single time?!"  His reply, "old people."  Thanks dear.   

So, aside from having two flat tires in the same week (one of which caused me to have to cancel a speech client and the girls to be late to school - and with dirty clothes b/c they got tired of waiting on AAA to come fix the tire b/c mommy doesn't know how, so they rolled around in the wet yard), having the air go out in the - *add curse word here* then add "ing" - van, having to call a lawyer regarding visitation issues w/eldest daughter & her "father," getting a CT scan and TWO blood draws b/c they goofed (and I HATE NEEDLES) and the "normal" day to day craziness, I am having to collect and refrigerate my dang pee!!!  No wonder this "old lady" has high blood pressure!  I only prayed Macy wouldn't open the fridge door (as she usually does) and grab the container!  All that hard work would have gone to waste - oh yea, and a possible visit to the ER because of a wrongful consumption.

To continue w/the pee saga, on one occasion I had to be "in town" (we live, god forbid, at least 10-20 minutes out of town) for a time period that would not allow for my "three children later" bladder to be held.  So, knowing I would be dropping two of the girls off at daddy's office (where he has a dorm fridge) after school, I conveniently packed a plastic cup and wrapped Saran Wrap around the top, securing with a rubber band (no WAY was I going to use one of my pitchers).  He saw me w/the cup and I proceeded with "I know you aren't going to want to do this, but..."  

Don't worry - it's just coffee in the cups
I was right - he did not want any part of what I needed of him.  I used the restroom down the hall, cup concealed in a Wal-Mart bag.  I couldn't find the Panera bag the lab tech gave me, saying the lab people would think I was surprising them with bagels.  I returned the speciman to the fridge with a sheepish smile to the hubs, who later told me the bag was WET (it was from the sink - seriously!) and gave me the visual of him holding the 2 yr old in one hand, the SOLO full-o-pee in the other, all while trying to corral the other kiddo from the street to get them into the van.  Which reminds me of how I dropped the kids off at his office, then proceeded to get back in the van (with the carseats) and drive off to make my racquetball league on time - only to have him call and ask "what the he** are you doing - we have to switch vehicles."  Oh yeaaaaa.  

Aside from that ordeal is the fact that my 2 yr old rarely is in another room from me - so she was present at quite a few of the pee collections.  She thought I was using her potty seat while collecting in the lovely little plastic seat they provide.  Then, she brings some crackers in the bathroom and places them on top of the toilet seat where I had just placed the "collector seat."  "Don't put that cracker in your....mouth!!!!"  Close call.  Thank god those 24 hrs are over.  Now to tackle the weekend.  Enjoy yours!!

And THANKS to igottalaugh.blogspot.com's crazay blogger for encouraging me to do another blog!!  Though I would have rather taken a nap today...